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  • Writer's pictureMark Lane Law Offices

The Decision to Divorce

The Decision to Divorce

You should always be absolutely sure that your marriage is beyond the point of no return before you make the decision to file for a divorce. If you are uncertain, you and your spouse should make an effort to attend marriage counselling with a qualified counsellor acceptable to you both.

If you find that you are experiencing emotional problems, please employ a professional counsellor for your personal benefit. A counsellor can help you with emotional problems much more effectively than your attorney. Be honest with yourself and seek the help you deserve.

Filing for a divorce to shake up your spouse in order to save the marriage is not always the best option. Filing for a divorce rarely saves the marriage. This tactic can cause the other spouse to become more hostile, therefore, causing more damage to the relationship. The filing of a divorce should be done with great care, consideration of all aspects and the understanding that if you ask for a divorce, you will likely get one.

Attorney and Client

Help us help you. This is your case and your life, not your attorney's. Although we are here to help in any way we can, your specific knowledge of the relationship, assets, debts, and many other aspects are very important. Doing your due diligence by keeping us informed, providing and keeping reports, records of any changes of behavior or finances, and many other factors are very important during your case.

Be Informed It is important that your attorney understand exactly what you want. You should be as informed and involved in your case as possible. It is equally important that you understand exactly what the attorney can and cannot do for you. Do not hesitate to ask your attorney questions if you feel it could benefit or hinder your case.

Keep a File Establish a file in which to keep your divorce related documents. Please bring this file with you each time that you visit your attorney's office. Have a special folder in your file of notes, questions, documents or statements of items that may have changed in that time period. Including communication items from email, social media, text and the like.

Keep it to Yourself

These days it is so easy to vent your frustrations to the world. The various types of social media is a dangerous place to discuss anything, much less something that could affect you and your families lives. We advise that you do not discuss with anyone...period. If you must, then discuss it with a trusted family member or a professional counsellor but NEVER on social media.

Tell Your Attorney the Truth Be totally honest with your attorney at all times with every detail. It is equally important that you give him all information which may help your case or that might be harmful to your case. We are not here to judge or scold you, we are here to help you. Any time you are places under oath, you will be required to tell the truth. The truth does not need to surprise your attorney, if the attorney knows in advance, he will know how to navigate through the murky waters.

Information Gathering At the heart of any lawsuit will be the facts. Your attorney knows the law, has the years of experience to guide you through it all and get you the best possible outcome for you and your family. You, however, have knowledge of your situation, relationship and your property. It is up to you to fully educate your attorney on these subjects. Before you meet with your attorney it is a good idea to have knowledge of assets and debts. Make a detailed list of these items and any identifying factor for each. Below is an example to guide you. If you cannot obtain the information before the first meeting, please make it a priority to obtain this information as quickly as possible.

  • Real Estate - Include addresses and legal description which can usually be found on your deed, original purchase contract or online from your county tax assessor. This needs to include your primary home, business, investment properties, vacation homes/condos and recreational properties including lake homes, farm or ranch land.

  • Vehicles - The Vehicle Identification Number (VIN) will be needed for all vehicles. This includes not only the cars you drive but any recreational vehicles such as RV's, boats, jet skis, classic cars, UTV's, personal aircraft and others

  • Accounts - Bank, Savings, Retirement, Investment, Insurance, Mortgages, IRA's, CD's and credit cards are the most common. Please note the account numbers of each or provide statements if possible.

  • Miscellaneous - Other items of value are often overlooked in these times such as heirlooms, antiques, collections or collector items, art, etc. Do a walk thru of your home and list items that has significance importance to you. If applicable, write down make, model, and serial numbers. If none, write a detailed description and take a photo.

Attorney-Client Relations

You and your attorney have a very special relationship. Your attorney owes 100 percent of his allegiance to you. Your attorney is required to represent you zealously, but within the bounds of the law.

All major decisions will be discussed with you in detail. However, your attorney will make other decisions such as how to phrase allegations in your pleadings. No final settlement of your case will be made without your approval and consent.

Good lawyers are perfectly capable of passionately defending and promoting their client's best interest without becoming personal enemies with the opposing attorney. Do not be upset if you find your attorney dealing with your spouse's attorney on a regular basis. One of the reasons you hire a lawyer is to have someone on your side who has legal expertise and who can remain objective. In Family Law, or any law discipline, you want your lawyer to be cool, calm and collective to stay focused on what is best for you and your family.

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